What do these three things have in common? well not much, except that after experiencing such simcha and achdus with all stripes of klal yisrael coming together to celebrate the Siyum, let us use that energy and the hisorerus and continue it on to other aspects of helping each other. We hear so much about the shidduch crisis the many singles that have a hard time in finding their zivug. How nice would it it be if we had achdus and looked beyond party affiliation in redding shidduchim. We can add many more potential prospects to the pool of single boys and girls.
Here is a previous article posted here.
Yes, intermarriage! Well, we're not talking about marrying out of faith, but intermarrying within. Let me explain: there have been many suggestions and solutions on fixing the so called shidduch crisis, such as closing the age gap, marrying older girls the NASI project etc. Of all frum singles of shidduchim age, many are not compatible for each other to begin with. We have within our own frum community many different camps and societies.You have chasidish, litvish, modern orthodox, Lubavitch, Sefardi and so on. Most camps marry each other since they share simillar backgrounds and cultures.
One can't expect a satmar chosid or a Lakewood yeshivish boy to marry an idealistic Lubavitch girl. The ideologies are far apart and the goals and way of life are different. However, all this leads to the normal baale batish yeshivish crowd who are the most effected by the shidduch crisis, with a smaller pool of boys and girls to choose from.
The issue at hand is within the yeshivish baale batish circles. We created our own camps and boundaries- some by nature, some at will. We created closed knitted circles among ourselves that will only marry with each other, not availing ourselves as prospects to the general pool. They keep to each other, whether it is rich to rich families, or choshuv to choshuv, rabbonisheh mishpachos with each other. There is this elitism where people look to do shidduchim with bessere mentchen with out even looking into the so called simple people.
Instead of focusing on the character and compatibility of the boy and girl, the main focus is on, "Who am I being meshadech with?" It must be a sheiner mishpacha. They will not look into a simple family, although their children might be more suitable personally for each other.
It would help solve the crisis by enlarging the pool of available prospects and add more boys as well. Imagine, if all frum boys and girls will be available and there will be no boundaries or different camps, we would not have a crisis.
Same in our own camps. For example: two families are meshadech with each other because they are both roshei yeshiva or both sheiner bessere mentchen, and the girl is 18 and boy 22, however, the personalities of the boy and girl may not be compatible. On the other hand, you have a 20 year old girl from a simple mishpacha, who could make a great rebbetzin for the RY son and another top boy who would be a good fit for the other RY daughter. If they would look into other not so shpitz famailies that have wonderfull suitable children, you add more options that way, and have two engaged couples instead of one. An argument can be made against this logic, but the bottom line is, by adding more boys and girls we broaden the shidduch pool for potential future simchas.
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