שדכן = שקר דובר כסף נוטל
At his Lag Ba'omer Tish yesterday the Viznitz Rebbe of Bnei Brak spoke of some important issues relating to his flock. The rebbe spoke to those in the parsha of shidduchim, he called on people not to get upset or depressed about it, everything is from shomayim. At the same time he called on the shadchanim to put in more effort and work harder in helping singles find their bashert.
The Rebbe referenced that known saying that the roshei Teivos of the word שדכן is שקר דובר כסף נוטל, the literal translation is he speaks lies and takes money. The rebbe pointed out that a shadchan must have the smarts and know what to say and what not to say but chalila he should not lie.
The Rebbe asked that people stop pressuring and demanding of him to to guarantee a yeshuah or refuah as all he can do is give a bracha and daven he is not in a position of צדיק גוזר. The Rebbe said the zechus of the great day of Lag baomer will bring yeshuos to all.
Now, with the current shidduch crisis many older singles only get dates by hiding or not offering their age upfront. Some even keep themselves as as a younger age for a few years. Should we be up front and say im 32 if you can pass for 28? is there a line between a white lie or a red one?
Dont let age be a factor in a shidduch .
The story is told that when Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt"l, immigrated to the US the authorities made a mistake on his birth date making him a year older than he really was. As a result he started getting pension cheques a year early. For that year he returned the cheques with an explanatory note that he didn't yet need the money.
ReplyDeleteNow, if he had kept the money no one would have carried. Heck, he could have given it to tzedakah. A multibillion dollar government wouldn't have noticed it, yet he decided that personal honesty mattered more.
If that's the case then how much more so does personal honesty matter when someone is trying to create a personal life-long relationship?