The way to stop the crisis is for gevirim to give more money for kolelim which will take away the financial support obsticle which is a factor in the shidduch crisis. Many involved with finding solutions to the shidduch crisis have been pushing an agenda to have yeshiva bochurim return early from learning in Eretz yisrael or avoid bochurim from going to learning in EY altogether. A big problem they say is the age differential between boys coming on the market at age 23 and girls entering at 18-19. The claim is, boys who come back from learning in EY at 23 dont want to date 23 year olds they rather choose the younger 18-19 year old girls. By having the boys begin shidduchim at an earlier age of 21 that will alleviate the crisis.
Supposedly some baal habatim have pushed the Lakewood Yeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha to enforce a new policy and not accept boys over the age of 23, thereby forcing the boys to return to the states at an earlier stage.
This does not bode well with many Roshei yeshiva in America whose bochurim stay untill 4th year Bais medrash and first go to EY at 21-22. To have them forced back from the learning in EY is not an option.
What the gevirim should do is give more money to kolelim. The reason many girls cant find shidduchim is because the kolelim are not paying enough to support a new youngerman. Parents who want learning boys cant afford it either. If there was enough money for a youngerman to learn in kolel without having his shver take on most of the burden there would not be many girls waiting around. Instead of putting our money and efforts into studies and changing the system, the gevirim should invest more money for kolelim which will make it easier for boys to not worry about support and will help the so called crisis.
This assessment sounds accurate. An additional advantage of better funding for serious kollel yungerleit is that the wife will have better opportunity to peruse a more advance, and more lucrative, degreee or training.
ReplyDeletepursue . . . advanced
DeleteBemichilas kevodcha, this is simple-minded nonsense.
ReplyDeleteThe over-riding question is whether there is an imbalance in the numbers of boys and girls who need shiduchim. If there are - and virtually everyone who has looked at the numbers (and everyone who is not living in a cave, frankly) agrees that there is - than all other factors of the sort you describe are irrelevant distractions.
Suppose you gave all the kollels a lot more money. Now what? You haven't undone the Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershon, and the imbalance is still going to be there. It might change which girls are left with no shiduch, by de-emphasizing money, but it won't change that some girls will be left out.
Frankly, I'm not even sure it will make money less of a factor altogether. Boys go into the parsha wanting to learn "as long as possible", and if enhanced kollel support meant that the amount of shver-supplied kest which currently last 5-7 years could last 10 years, then that will become the new standard and boys would insist on that level. But again, even if it would, then something else would become the issue.
It's a boys' market. The reason it's a boys' market is the imbalance. But once that's the way it is, then you get boys asking for all sorts of things before they consider a shiduch. Because they can. If it's not one thing it will be another.
Posts like this, which are aimed at undercutting legitimate efforts to ameliorate the shiduch crisis and are based on a complete lack of understanding, are more damaging than a lot of other posts which get criticized on this blog, IMO.
So having flushed untold hundreds of millions down the toilet in the current system the solution is to up that to billions?
ReplyDeleteThere is a word for sickos like you....
DeleteHow about the boys go to college so they can get a degree, work, and support their own families decently? How many thousands of men work during the day and learn at night? Oh, wait, I forgot, college is assur, and girls don't want a boy who might spend time outside of the beis actually earning a living.
ReplyDeleteYou make too much sense Sir Vorpal, alas we live in an age of insanity.
DeleteTouche
DeleteWant to solve the crisis? Stop allowing every boy to go to kollel. Simple. The reason there is a crisis is because the boys hold out for the top girls who can also support so the rich girls tend to get married first and whoever can't support has to sit and wait until some guy has rachmanus. The kollel system is unsustainable. Kollel is not a right it's a privilege for those who are serious about their learning. The current system of every single guy even the cool guys doing a few years is a joke.
ReplyDeleteBH they are learning in Kollel what we need is to support them
DeleteWhy is that?
DeleteGevirim should absolutely NOT invest in kollelim. A young man man needs to provide a parnassah as per the kesubah and as per the Torah. There are multiple more important places where their money could be used. Much, much, more critical areas than a kollel.
ReplyDeleteLike YU ??
DeleteWhat's wrong with YU? At least YU grads observe the ksubah, don't they?
Delete