Friday, February 22, 2013

Asifa Crisis !

Asifa to tackle the asifa  crisis and all future crisis affecting Klal Yisrael.
Coming off the heels of the successful Internet Asifa, the Siyum Hashas and many other large gatherings, askanim are working on a Brand new Asifa as this will be bigger and better than the previous ones. An organizer who was involved in the previous gatherings says all mistakes initially made at the first Asifa and the Siyum will be corrected by the upcoming Asifa. No longer will there be a conflict on the official language spoken at the Asifa, or which drashos should be delivered. For this there will 3 separate stadiums for yiddish english and hebrew speakers.
 In the English stadium there will be an option for a Yiddish speaker if he can not get a seat, or is not wanted at the dais of the main Yiddish venue. Same Thing with the Hebrew and English venues they can switch but the Yiddish venue will be exclusive Yiddish. All stadium workers must be fluent in Yiddish, any stadium staff caught speaking a Language other than Yiddish will be removed immediately, The dais will be constructed in a way that All Gaboim can take a turn behind their Rav on a newly designed rotating Gabboim stage which will encircle the dais making brief stops in front of the respected Rabbanim.
 Askanim have noticed that events held at winning venues have a high success rate, Such as the Siyum Hashas  in Metlife following the Giants winning the super bowl, and the Internet Asifa following the 1986 Mets. In light of that they are looking to go full circle and use Yankee stadium too. 
We are still not sure what the Asifa will discuss and be about it is a close kept secret, but an Asifa is desperately needed. However the topics to be discussed are the current and future crisis affecting the klal. There are many upcoming crisis such as the the housing crisis, Avos ubanim crisis forcing fathers to learn with their sons, Zman magazine crisis kids cant put it down crisis. In order not to run late or have people miss connecting trains and ferries, the Asifa will be a full 12 hour program,  this way it can not run late and people know in advance what to expect. There will be an inaugural asifa miles program where you earn miles for attending and time spent. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

  1. I assume that this asifa will be on Purim.

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