Thursday, July 23, 2015

Do these ads help solve the shidduch crisis?


  1. Most girls from “good Yeshivish families” would NEVER consider marrying: a Baal Teshuvah (regardless of how many years he has been observant, and regardless of how much Torah he learned), a Sephardic man (regardless of which country his ancestors came from, and regardless of how many generations his family has been living in America), a working boy (even if he studies Torah every night, and even though 99.9% of female our ancestors married working boys), any boy shorter than them, any Chabadnik (even if he is one of the normal ones who know that Rabbi Schneerson is DEAD), anyone Modern Orthodox, sincere converts, Russians, etc, etc, etc.

    Most girls from “good Yeshivish families” would NEVER consider marrying anyone who does not come from EXACTLY THE SAME background as them.

    Even if the girls wanted to be flexible with these matters, their parents would never allow them to to do it, because: WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBORS SAY?

  2. I come from a regular yeshivish family/ typical Bais Yaakov school, Mr. Cohen, and that simply isn't true. I know typical girls who married BTs, Sephardim, etc.
    What is true is that most people feel comfortable w/ somebody from a similar background. So while a girl might be open to dating somebody from a different background, it doesn't mean they will have enough in common to be interested in marrying.
    There is a huge gap between a typical BY girl and a Modern Orthodox guy--I doubt the MO guy would be interested in a yeshivish girl in any case. There's a big cultural gap between a first generation Russian and a regular American as well.
    Plus, I would assume most Lubavitch men prefer somebody Lubavitch. It's a very different outlook/lifestyle for somebody who didn't grow up that way.
    Also, while many girls nowadays do want somebody learning, plenty would be very happy with somebody working/planning on working shortly etc.

  3. I don't know if these ads help or hurt but I don't like them because of the tremendous pain they must cause any single girl over 30 with the persistent message of "you will probably never get married"

  4. This ad is only another example for the poor methods of the haredi society to make people act "properly": Frighten them! This is an absolute distortion of the notion of Fear (yir'a), that is so valued by us, religious Jews. All the ads related to tsniut, internet, smartphones, computers and you name it, are based on the concept of 'Evil', and the overall message aimed at the target group is: 'You are not strong enough to fight your inclination.' They will surely not agree, but this is actually a very Christian concept, and Judaism has other ways to offer. At least for some of us.