A sad story of a 50 year old lady who took her own life. She was frum married had children and belonged to the gur chasidic movement. About 7 years ago she left the fold and as a result became estranged from her children. She had written a short autobiography describing the rigors of living within the Chasidic sect and the pain she felt when her daughters cut ties with her over her choice to give up religion. The media naturally had a field day blaming the charedim for her death and all that transpired. Nothing was further than the truth when her daughters spoke at the Levaya crying how sad they felt when their mother left and abandoned them at a young age. (See text of speech below article)There was no organized plot or ruling to cut ties with her, said the family it was their own decision. Veteran Israeli journalist Avishei Ben Chaim wrote a Facebook post debunking all the blame by the secular media on the family and charedim pertaining to this story. However the jury was out quickly. Never to miss an opportunity publicizing ills in the frum world Rabbi Yakov Horowitz on his Facebook page was quick to put up the story, he was kind enough to say he doesnt know the details and cant comment but "children need both parents" as if to hint to some organized charedi alienation. The comments on the post are full fledged charedi bashing blaming gur, chasidim, charedim and what not. No need to check out facts the bias and bashers already made up their minds.
Hebrew text of the hesped at the Orthodox Levaya by one of the daughters.
אמא
נזכור ולא נשכח
את שנות הילדות שחלק מאיתנו זכו לחוות בחיקך
את המשפחתיות והאהבה שהיו מנת חלקך
נזכור ולא נשכח
את השנים בהן גידלת אותנו
בחוכמתך הרבה הרעפת לכולנו
נזכור ולא נשכח שבכול שנות ילדותינו רצית בכל מאודך רק את טובתנו
התאמצת ולמדת איך לגדל אותנו ולהיות אמא טובה בשבילנו
נזכור ולא נשכח איך הלכנו איתך בגאווה שבע בנות מדהימות
ואת היית נראת כמו עוד אחות גדולה וכשאמרנו את המילה אמא מסביבינו עצרו נשימה
נזכור ולא נשכח שאת חלקנו זכית לחתן
לתת את נשמתך ולקבלם כמו בן
את נכדייך הגדולים קיבלת באהבה עצומה
התרגשת עם כל אחד ואחת ופינקת תמיד נתתת הרגשה לכולם
נזכור ולא נשכח את היום המר והנמהר שבו אותנו נטשת
התחננו להסברים ביקשנו לבא איתך
אך הפנית אל לבנו את הגב, ילדות קטנות שביום בהיר ננטשות
ואין אמא שתסביר ותרפא את השברים
אמא אמא
נזכור תמיד ולא נשכח שאלוקים נתן ואלוקים לקח
מסובב הסיבות רצה את דמעותינו
העמיד בניסינות קשים את כולנו
ושנות סבל וייסורים היו מנת חלקנו כולנו
נזכור כל אחד מאיתנו שכעת טוב לך ומלמעלה את רואה את התמונה כולה
בטוחה אני שאת רואה ששום דבר לא נעשה בכוונה
מבינה אני שיש דברים שלא ניתן היה להשיב
אבל כעת תוכלי מלמעלה להביט ולהקשיב
להבין את כל מה שלא הבינו בני האדם מסביבנו
אבל העיקר שכעת קבלי את סליחתנו
The only matter not addressed was the issue of the husband. That was what she found obviously unbearable to the point that she had to go. One expects the family to say what they did. I believe the truth is somewhere in the middle of these stories.
ReplyDeleteWhy did she have to leave everything?
DeleteWhat about her second husband Harrel - why wasn't he enough to satisfy her?
If it is OK to sacrifice one's life because they miss their children, shouldn't they then sacrifice romance in order to have their children? She was mentally ill - and the psych at her first suicide attempt did the opposite of heal her.
The gedolim of the generation warned that ideas about marriage by some of the gur sect will lead to very unhappy women that all documented, although I'm not familiar with this specific case, from my experience dealing with this community, I can say there are a higher number of unhappy women than in the general frum community
ReplyDeleteThis is a moment for all of us to have a good look in the mirror. Perhaps minhagei Ger are not the real reasons she committed suicide, perhaps there was no conspiracy on the part of the community, and perhaps the secular media has no business talking about all this. So what? The ills Esti Weinstien speak of are real, while there are many wonderful things about Ger the things Esti shed light on are not among them.
ReplyDeleteלא ניתנה תורה למלאכי השרת and we're so far from that. When there is a problem in the chareidi community let's not get lost in the details. Let's not get defensive because the people pointing out our flaws come from outside the community. I hope we can all agree that the fifth chelek of the Shulchan Aruch that so many of us are reading from is being read wrong. Fight fire with love.
I'd like to call on you Mr. Partial View (anonymous blogger who has so valiantly taken up the mantle of calling out all anonymous bloggers)to call out all problems and not just the ones which come from the people wearing the wrong yarmulka.
What do you want. Make short and succinct points.
Deletehttp://daattorah.blogspot.com/2016/06/esti-weinstein-channel-10-reporter-says.html
ReplyDeleteDidn't think you were into honest reporting. Or exchange of ideas
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen any chareidi bashers in this article. If the author is referring to the secular media, no examples are given, so I doubt the authors credibility. Some people just need to make themselves, and their group, into victims.
ReplyDeleteThen the author goes on to call the daughter a liar by saying, "Nothing was further than the truth when her daughters spoke at the Levaya crying how sad they felt when their mother left and abandoned them at a young age." (Note to author: Please learn about prepositions and how to use them in a sentence, especially common expressions.)
Then, for no reason, the author speaks lashon hara about Yakov Horowitz, saying that he's someone who always bashes the frum world. But the author cites no examples and the link that he gives to YH's Facebook page also has no chareidi bashing over this incident. So what was the point of bringing him up, and especially in a derogatory manner? Was it just to deride YH's commentors?
Of course there is a lot of Gur chassidus bashers over this incident but the bashing is directed at specific attitudes and behaviors within the Gur community that are accurate and directly relevant to this woman's problems.
>>"children need both parents" as if to hint to some organized charedi alienation.
Exactly how does the statement "children need both parents" hint at any blame on the part of chareidim? Again, making yourself and your group into victims. How's that working for you?
Yanky Horowitz has been a non stop charedi basher on his social media pages. Hes a self hating charedi apologist and hasn't miss an opportunity to post any story painting charedim in a bad light. Posting this story is just another notch in showing the ills of charedi hashkafa that is not in line with his warped left thinking mind. He tries playing right and left but is fooling no one. His FB page, twitter feed and website is full of hate, derogatory comments and cynicism directed at the frum yeshiva and chasidic communities. The yeshiva world and the right are very aware of the direction he has taken over the years, pandering to the left and modern orthodox crowds, advancing and promoting himself on the backs of the charedi community. His a phenom for his shtreimel wearing and kipa seruga undernesth, If he truly cared so much for the safety of children and victims of abuse why did he launch an all out campaign to prevent a book on child safety geared for the frum community from being sold in stores. He took the author and publisher to bais din. Today the book is a best seller. When he posts children need both parents it is very clear what his subliminal message is in the context of the post. The agudah has stopped associating themselves with him for a while.
ReplyDelete>>Posting this story is just another notch in showing the ills of charedi hashkafa...
DeleteSo, simply by posting this article he is a chareidi basher? Please. But I guess that makes you a chareidi basher also, since that is your criteria for being one.
Régardless, Yakov Horowitz wrote nothing derogatory about this incident. So bashing him in context of this story is nothing but lashon hara.
>>His a phenom for his shtreimel wearing and kipa seruga undernesth,
This is a non-sentence. The word 'phenom' is incorrectly used. Regardless, it is clear that you just don't like the fact that he dresses in a way that you think is inconsistent and improper. Btw, who are you to pass judgment on his choice of yarmulka and garb? There is a lot hate and anger in your writing.
But, at least, he has the guts and integrity to sign his name to what he writes.
-chaimbaruch kaufman
By allowing the hatred and comments on his post he is just as guilty. Not once does he even try to defend. In addition you obviously dont know yanky very well perhaps you only know of his online persona were he projects a certain image. Do some homework and speak to those who dealt with him and know him in real life. There is a whole other story.
Delete